cough cough

I can only thing of her. All thigh and dressed in white, with her relaxing presence. One taste of her and she will just make me smile. For a couple of minutes. Till she burn out.

Darn, this cough. I need a mudda-faka cigarette. I mean ONE. I smoke only around 7 today before I got all dizzy and starting coughing out my lungs. Wouldn't make any difference. Only ONE. I caugh already anyhow. And I will probably start taking some heavy shit medicine next week or so. So. One. Would be so nice to feel all guilty and satisfied while puffing from one, white long cigarette.

Will the bathroom mirror stand again some of my midnight monologues?
"Now, you listen to me prick. What are you? A independent gorgeous full of personality gay man who has the power to stop smoking for one freaking day or a independent full of sparking charming gay man who can not stop puffing darn smokes? Look at me. You can do it! You just have to think hard enough! Want it hard enough! Proving to everyone that the only addiction you have are fluffy sock monkeys! No, dont look at the random placed random lighter on the random ball next to the bathroom sink. No, that is not a sign to light a fag!..."

And then go to bed. Without a smoke. What a dry smokeless life.