i dont know what to do

"u know. that was again the sweetest thing that ever happend to me. and on the other hand, it was the most weird in guy's stuff i've ever had.

i am so fuckin stuck with u raoul. was it me or u to wait for 2 years texting and texting again. i was happy with u as happy as i could be. unaviable. yeah. i am. and i had no time to change that. i am not like u. i didnt even had the time to explain, to find trust. for me everything, once it started, happend to fast. i don't know why u do not understand that, why it is so impossible for u to understand that.

lately i didnt figure what i've done wrong again, cuz as beautiful, handsome, intelligen, sexy and fuckin funny u are, as weird and fast changing u are.

i miss u. i missed u all along. and i know u won't believe that, only because ur different than me.

and i dont know what to do, what u expect, what u wish and long for. this is all chaos to me. and i do not have the slightest idea what the next step should be, or if i do u a real favour by not doing anything anymore.

all of this seems so full of missunderstandings, and missinterpretation (on both sides)..

i don't know. i am no master in this kinda thing, not even a student. i miss u. yesterday i felt asleep with ur cheesy and most wonderful postcard u made for me. i really don't know what to do.

oh and u looked good tonight. as usual."