Sunday, March 11, 2007

Wanna be

For as long as I know I liked to play. I strongly believed in the saying (first heard from this guy) "Never stop playing".
The first memory I have about that is when I was gathering my giant plush animals and making a nest with them on an old blanket. Playing the plush leader. What a great and fuzzy feeling! Later I became fascinated by singing, singing opera to be more exact and I was playing the tenor/soprano/bass/baritone all together. That translates with yelling all the day long in the courtyard and driving all the neighbours crazy. My singing carrier didn't come to an end to soon but took a nasty turn when I started performing songs by a Romanian singer Angela Similea. All that drama! But that play came quickly to a stop when I realized that boys just don't do that.
But what do boys do? Well, trying to discover that, I assumed the play as a doctor, consulting my one year younger neighbour and making him get undressed for a check up as he might be suffering of a rare disease only the red heads know the cure. And I cured him, and my curiosity, by just sprinkling salt on him. He never made the difference.
Latter I assumed even more manlier games as a coop, astronaut and pirate. The last one gave me great joy, as I improvised a steering wheel by turning the bike on its handlebar and steering its wheel and making the streets neighbours respond to my commands as: "Ai ai Captain!".
If water was at order, why not try other elements as fire. All those paper castles made in the fireplace and lighted up. And I, watching from above, I could see Elena running on the corridors with her hair on fire yelling H2O H2O and Ceausescu, jumping in a feeble attempt to save his life, from his imposing "poeple's" balcony. That play had to stop once I actually almost put something else made of paper on fire. Our house.
But that passed as a spark and latter in life, through an unfortunate series of events, I had to learn to play the piano. The first lesson was on a weekday late afternoon. As I entered the classroom I noticed that the professor hadn't arrive yet and I had the piano at my disposal. Shy in the beginning and then nastier as time pasted, I played and I ravaged that piano imagining myself as a great supreme piano player that can summon thunder and lighting with his finger tips. Till I got bored. That day the professor never arrived. Maybe he runed away screaming impressed by my powers or he just wanted to let me have a go at the piano before he could even start bothering teaching me.
Also in sports I had a try: gymnastic athlete, Olympic swimmer, judo wrestler and karate hero. I play the illusion of being great in all of them.
In grade school I approached the matter differently as I discovered something that could fuel my imagination to the limit: books. With the support of my class friends (need to mention Fausta!) I went back in time and I became a distinguished chevalier named: Chevalier de Ragastens, count de Alma, and Unique Senior of Monteforte.

But dreams were shattered when high school came and I couldn't convince my new classmates to be my courtly companions and to obey my every order.
Fine, can do without the limited minds of the commoners, and assumed that I could be as dramatic as a chevalier by playing theatre. So I did.
But after five years my road took another turn and I had to say goodbye to the stage, the only place were playing with names, outfits and words was allowed and you were even appreciated for that.
During this time, charmed by the bourgeoisie charm of the artistic world and the running blood of teenager I starting playing the loved, the loving and the lover. A play I still do sometimes, but hey, that's gets scarcer and scarcer. Cause was replace by the fuck, fucked and the fucker.

And then, suddenly, I knew that my next play has to get serious as the chance relocated me all the way to the land of self efficient clocks that never miss a beat, randomly (so it seems but is that the truth???) holey cheese and banks that don't want customers that can not start the account with 10.000 cash.
So I played to be serious, mature and boring. I played the Swiss. Took my job seriously, and I played the young creative Swiss designer with which the 80 years old neighbour is afraid to get into the elevator with 'cause he is from eastern Europe. Eh, who cares! Next time I tell her I'm a kiwi and she wouldn't make the difference.
Slowly I realized that I can play this game pretty well (excluding the Swiss part were I just suck) and I enrolled as a student. Shaved down the beard that made me look older, cut the designer at 50% and enrolled proudly as a 100% student.
And here I am! My game made and I just have to keep dices going and spend my energy on the right things.
The only thing left to figure out now is how to play happy.


AW said...

esti deprimat breh?

.raoul said...

how did u got that idea?????