Sunday, February 03, 2008


My mom was somehow at the entry organizing something. I think we were moving in and, as usual she started yelling at me that I should go and pick in which rooms I wanna live. The house looked like the one in the movie Atonement but no stairs at the entrance. Maybe I was in front of the backdoor as I enter directly on the kitchen (the same as the one I grew up on Desseanu, my childhood home).
I like that. I got to pick up my own room. I mean even rooms. I cross the kitchen, go thru the next door where a long corridor as the one on the Croft Manor, was waiting for me. I go directly to the end of the corridor were a large square staircase (like the one from our flat in Budapest).

I could have enter the rooms on the corridor but I don't want to live on the ground floor. Not sure if the elevator works I think its safer to take the stairs. The window of the stair cases look out to some internal courts (like the ones in Ghent). I enter a door on the third floor, cross a large room (Vlai's apartment) full of paintings (I spot a Tonitza) and go up the round stair cases (like the ones in Senones) and arrive in my living room (the one from Zofingen). It is so familiar. The bedroom is as usual, somewhere after the sofa.

Oh, my old bed. My hard futon!!! I see another door in the bedroom and I enter. I found myself in the Pedro bedroom (he needs a real bed!!!). The glass door goes out on a corner balcony (The Leitungs balcony from Hyperwerk) and I hear my mom shouting my name. I leave the balcony, cross the bedroom and run down passing Tanja's room (dont want to leave here), a room that looks familiar (maybe I dreamed that room before), a corridor (Luana's house corridor) and go down a flight of steps and I see my mother giving indications. No, I didn't find yet my room!!!

I enter another door from this green courtyard , pass thru the Desseanu living room, the bedroom (which also has one window bricked) and go end up to a round staircase (made out of cast iron / Senones again). Go up two floors on the narrow stairs, see on my right AnaMaria's tower from Barcelona and on my left I know Roughy might be behind the door (Alex's flat and Im sure there must be also the upstairs bedroom from the first flat in Zofingen).
There is a dead end on this corridor with a mirror so I decide to go back and try a another door on my left. I open it and Meredith bedroom is there and I am amazed how nice the skies look thru the big windows.

Then I wake up and see the skies of Basel and a panicked Pedro. He is late again.

Annette thinks the message is loud and clear, that I am still searching for my home.
I think otherwise. I think I am just happy and comfortable with my past and future. And its ok when my mom shouts, screams and yell cause that means she is still somewhere near.

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